party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
