Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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