I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
