I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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