carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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