i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
