More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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