i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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