On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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