Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
