so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
