I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
