Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
