Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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