I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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