Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
