Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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