found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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