Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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