I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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