yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
