it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
