She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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