In America we eat man semen.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
