My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
