I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
