What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
