I cockslap morals
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
