you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
