I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
