just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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