On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
