Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
