P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
