My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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