she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
