Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
