Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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