Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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