just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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