my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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