i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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