Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
