John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
