for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
