Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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