i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize