Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
