His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
worst night to have a conscience
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
