drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize