Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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