I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize