Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
