So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize