Will you blow on my dice?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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