Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Randomize
