I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
