i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize