i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
