Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
We need to get me chipped asap
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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