You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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