Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
